Yes, I too have been separated, lost my house and ruined my credit...
I'm an accomplished mortgage specialist for more than 13 years, however all the more essentially, I've experienced a heart wrenching separation, lost my condo, my RV, my sanity, my debts and my credit. So...I can certainly empathize with the hurt, confusion and fear you may have right now.
It's traumatizing to the point that you can't sleep, how are we going to pay the bills and custody issues...and what's more regrettable, the kids are so confounded, baffled, and out and out terrified about their future.
I can promise you this...THIS TO SHALL PASS.
For many years, I have run structured Divorce Support Education seminars to educate and assist in having someone who can point you in the right direction, instead of you trying to do it on your own.
Essentially I have a 5 STEP Divorce Plan.
Review your 5 year plan and your timeline for separation and divorce
Suggest you seek family mediation BEFORE you start attacking each other in lawyer offices
Review your credit, open/close credit
Get a separation agreement in place. It's required for a mortgage.
Pre-approve prior based on expected spousal, child, new income for both parties.
More important, is you have someone ensuring your questions are answered and a plan is in place. One wrong step with credit, payments, down payments and you could be a renter again.